I had good intentions for my new blog, I really did. But somehow I just forgot it even existed. My brain overfloweth. I have so many things on my mind, kids to raise, house to clean, Christmas to plan, and crafty things to make to try to help keep me sane. I have a million things running through my head at any given moment. Everything from the boys and our families to crafty ideas and paint colors for the walls and money, stupid money and too many other things. One big thing that never leaves my mind is that our family has become a family affected by autism. While I certainly wouldn’t choose this for my beautiful angel baby, these are the cards we’ve been dealt and we will handle it. We adore this amazing child. He completed our family when he came, and we love him more than words can say. I have a hard time not worrying though. Will the other kids pick on him at school? Will he ever talk? Will he ever have friends? Will he feel like a complete outcast? Will he ever get married? The doctors feel its best for him to go to school at 3, which is only 9 months away. I don’t know if this is right, but I will try what they say. I just can’t sleep at night for the worrying. I know that I’m doing everything I can to help him and I will continue to do so. I won’t ever stop trying to help Alex. Ever. Just look at him, isn’t he an absolutely perfect little angel??
Unfortunately Aaron has been feeling a little neglected and has started acting out a bit. Alex is constantly screaming or banging his head on the floor/walls/cabinets/doors or hitting himself or climbing on the furniture and I have to pay extra attention to him. I’ve been trying to do little things to make Aaron feel important too, but sometimes I just feel like its not enough. I started a Christmas countdown for him, and everyday in December he gets to do a special activity with me and he gets a small gift. This is only for him, and I think (at least I hope!) that it helps him to feel special. I adore him and don’t ever want him to think I don’t love him as much as Alex, or that there is anything wrong with him. Thankfully, he doesn’t have any jealousy towards Alex. At least not yet. He is such a great big brother. He loves pushing him in his swing and he makes him laugh all day long. He’s a pretty awesome kid.
I am one lucky mom. What we are dealing with might be hard, but look at the two gorgeous boys that I’ve been blessed with! It doesn’t get any better than that. Some days are worse than others, but we’ll get through it. These past 2 years have been a struggle, they really have. I feel like we’re starting to get into a groove though. I need to start taking a little bit of time for ME though, so I am going to try to get back into scrapbooking, read a few good books, and maybe even get back into this blogging world. Its nice to have a place to vent or write about our day. Or vent, lol. And it makes me feel a little better. But normally when I have some free time, I just crash in bed. I’m one tired mom! So, maybe I’m back to blogging. Or maybe I’ll be back in a few months. We’ll see. :o)