I am having a bad day today. Maybe its the lack of sleep or just how overwhelmed I’ve been, or maybe I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I just feel cranky. I decided to put Alex’s indoor trampoline up today. I just couldn’t wait for Christmas! He is climbing on EVERYTHING-onto the tables and windowsills and desks and it is just exhausting trying to keep him off the furniture. I really can’t even turn my head for 30 seconds and he’s making his way to the countertop. He climbs with his legs though, so he’s looking for that deep pressure in his legs. The trampoline will hopefully give him the input that he’s looking for. So I just thought I would wake up, put the trampoline up for him and we’d have a calm and easy day. Wrong. I worked on the trampoline for about 2 hours before Jamie finally got up to help me. It had a rip in it, and it ended up having to be taken apart and put back together three times. I have 4 or 5 different cuts on my hands and I stabbed myself with the screwdriver. I normally don’t have any problems putting things together, and I’m usually the one that puts everything together, it just wasn’t working for me this morning. When it was all done I just felt like a complete failure and broke down a little. I never really cried or felt sad about Alex’s diagnosis because I had known for a while so it wasn’t really a shock. But maybe that’s all catching up to me today. I just feel like I’ve failed my child. I feel like this but I don’t know why-I know there’s nothing I could’ve done, and I know I’m doing everything I can to help him. I just feel really low today. I pray that tomorrow will be better.
On Alex’s end, he’s had a great day. I was excited because when I woke up I thought he had slept all night, but Jamie said he woke up once. I have had a handful of uninterrupted nights of sleep in two and a half years, so once a night will be more than fine. Also, he LOVES the trampoline. He smiles and giggles and flaps his little wings. He’s so beautiful. Aaron even got in on the jumping action.
My little jumping beans. (Yes Alex is naked today. He refused to get dressed and I just let him stay his little naked self. Mom of the Year, I tell ya!)
I’m hoping the next 3 hours will be semi-easy and the boys and I can crawl into bed a little early. I have a migraine trying to form and every inch of my body is tired. We’ve been making snowflake crayons since last night and we only have about half of what we need to give to all of Aaron’s friends and family, so I still have a few more days of working on those. I was hoping to make some ornaments with Aaron today too. And our house looks like a tornado went through. Well, one kinda did, his name is Alexander the Destroyer. I had lots of plans, but didn’t get any of them done! Tomorrow will be a better day. Tomorrow HAS to be a better day!